Spamglish: Grampo Caralampio hace una New Year's Resolution muy importante (copy)

Larry Torres is a native of Arroyo Seco.

Canutito was very excited esa mañana. That morning el grampo had proposed to the whole family que ese día might be a great day para ir a Albuquerque to visit al Tío Piteh. Canutito hadn’t seen a su Tío Piteh por muchos años and the idea of driving all the way hasta Albuquerque sounded más nice que nada. La Grama Cuca había preparado unos sandwiches de pan de la tienda con potted meat y también echó animal cookies pa’comer pa’l dessert e hizo Koolaid para beber en el camino. Se subieron en la pickup truck vieja y pronto se pasaron las millas cuando pasaron Velarde, Española, Santa Fe y Bernalillo.

“Did you bring la mapa para jallar la casa de mi hermano Piteh, viejo?” Grama Cuca asked grampo as he chugged along.

“No Cuca,” he answered her, “pero yo sé que cuando we get to Alburqueque all we have to do es de buscar un sign que se está volteando y tu hermano Piteh will live right there.”

Grama Cuca and Canutito right away abrieron los ojos looking por un sign that was turning and right away they found cinco o seis signs ansina. Every time que la Grama Cuca would point a un turning sing, ella le preguntaba: “¿Es ése el sign?” pero every time she asked, el grampo le respondía: “Nope, ése no es el sign.”

Canutito tried to help grampo by saying: “Too bad que no tiene el número del teléfono de mi Tío Piteh porque entonces we could just stop en uno de esos telephone booths y llamarlo.”

“Sí m’hijo,” grampo replied “pero entonces it would cost us un daimeh entero just to call him and we can’t afford to spend a dime.”

Un día someone is going to invent un telefón que we can use para llamar del carro and maybe falta que tenga un retrato where we can see a la persona que estamos llamando.

“That would be como los teléfonos del futuro that I see en ‘Los Jetsons’,” Canutito smiled.

In the meantime el grampo kept on driving a través de Chivatown, Barelas, Los Duranes y Corrales still looking por un sign that was turning. El Canutito starting getting uncomfortable porque tenía que mearse pero de suerte que la Grama Cuca siempre tenía una empty bottle de 7up en la troca just for those occasions y el Canutito was able de hacer pee into the bottle. When he finished, Canutito looked up y vio que el Grampo Caralampio had stopped the truck y estaba agarrando direcciones de un police officer de cómo ir to where el Tío Piteh lived.

El grampo started up su garruleta once more and he followed the directions del policía en su old jalopy. Soon la familia estaba pulling up cerca de la casa del Tío Piteh cerca de 4th Street right next de un sign del ‘Blake’s Lotaburger’ that was turning.

“See,” grampo exclaimed, “yo les dije que I knew cómo jallar la casa porque estaba right after un sign que se estaba volteando.”

“Sí, viejo,” Grama Cuca added, “and to think que no nos tardamos más que siete horas to find it porque you didn’t bring the map.”

As grampo and grama got off the truck, se dieron cuenta de que el Canutito had fallen asleep. El grampo picked up al niño embrazos and carried him hasta the puerta de la casa. El Tío Piteh led him hasta el bedroom donde depositó al Canutito in bed y luego he asked: “No tuvieron trouble trying to find esta casa?”

“No,” grampo replied. “Era un piece of cake.” Grama nomás le dio un dirty look …

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