Spamglish

Larry Torres at his home in El Salto.

Una tardecita, grampo and Canutito were lying debajo del apple tree just descansando en la sombrita. El Grampo Caralampio tenía los ojos shut as he relaxed, sucking en un popote sticking out of his mouth. Canutito looked over to him chupando en un straw como estudiándolo y le preguntó: "Grampo, did you ever have una girlfriend antes de casarse con mi grama?"

Grampo Caralampio smiled, recordando su youth so long ago. "Sí, m'hijo," replicó. At one time yo tenia a una novia in every town. In fact, todos mis amigos used to refer to me as 'él mil amores of the county porque I had muchas girlfriends before marrying your grama."

"That means 'a thousand loves,' ¿que no, grampo?" Canutito asked him.

Pero just then, Grama Cuca came outside y se sentó cerca de ellos de manera que el grampo didn't answer Canutito's question. Pero she did. Ella dijo: "Tu grampo dice que tenía una girlfriend en cada lugar. The truth es, m'hijo que tu grampo era una legend in his own mind. He thinks que era un regular 'Casanova' como el legendary Spanish lover."

Grama and Canutito laughed pero el grampo nomás tried to ignore them y continuar con su historia personal: He started thinking back a un tiempo cuando era young y más handsome:

"Yo tenía una sugar babe en un tiempo and I even wanted marry her pero su papá no estaba muy impressed conmigo so antes de ir to meet her dad, I told her que no matter what I said yo quería que ella hiciera exaggerate todo in order to make it sound más grande than it really was.

She agreed to it y pronto el día se llegó cuando iba a encontrar a su dad. Yo llegué un poco late porque I wanted to make una entrance. So when I got to her father's house le dije: "Ay, please excuse porque estaba bien ocupão. Yo tenía que ir a check on mis vaquitas."

Immediately mi sugar chimed in con que: "¿Qué vaquitas? You mean 'vacales'," she said exagerando all the cows que yo tenía como si tuviera millions and millions." Su papá de ella lifted una eyebrow, imagining que yo era un hombre con una fortuna so I was pretty rich.

Grampo continued hablando muy matter of factly, dando sus excusas: "Sí, después I had to stop at the bank para depositar un dinerito."

"Qué dinerito?" my girlfriend exclamó; you mean to say dinerales!" indicando que tenía zillions and zillions of dollars. Y yo, yo me paré a little straighter para indicar que yo era un hombre muy importante."

"También tenía que ir a comprar unas píldoras porque estoy un poco enfermito," grampo said, coughing un poco.

"¿Qué enfermito?" my girlfriend chimed in on cue. "You are already bien pudrido! In fact estás so rotten que ya apestas to high heaven!"

Pues figuring out que he didn't want a un rotten son-in-law who stank to high Heaven en la familia, su papá no permitió a su hija to marry me."

He looked away como que estaba tratando de wipe away una lágrima and to stop Grama Cuca and Canutito from laughing.

Pero ellos pensaron que maybe that's where the expression: "He is 'filthy rich' or 'stinky rich' had come from. They thought que la girl friend del grampo la había inventado just for him de puro accidente…"

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