How to release toxic emotions

By Ellen Wood
Posted 12/5/19

Ever have someone bite your head off? Did you then suffer emotionally for days, or even a week? Or have you ever had a situation, especially around the holidays, that made you so angry, you got stressed to the max and were ready to run away from home? Here's the procedure for clearing trauma that works miracles for me.

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How to release toxic emotions

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Ever have someone bite your head off? Did you then suffer emotionally for days, or even a week? Or have you ever had a situation, especially around the holidays, that made you so angry, you got stressed to the max and were ready to run away from home? Here's the procedure for clearing trauma that works miracles for me. The steps to the process are:

1. Re-live the situation and picture every detail you can remember.

2. Notice the emotions you are experiencing and feel them as strongly as possible. Stay with those feelings for about half a minute. Vocalize your feelings with grunts and moans if that helps.

3. Drop the story.

4. Continue feeling just the emotions. You'll find it's nearly impossible to hold onto the feelings without the story.

5. Don't allow the story into your mind, even though it will try to creep back in. Focus 100 percent of your awareness on the raw feelings.

6. Be alert to the emotional "charge" being released, a little each time you do this process.

To give you some insight into why and how I use this practice, here's an example from a few years ago:

Someone I had been close to for decades sent me a cruel, hurtful letter laced with intimations of love for me. Although I decided not to respond, I could feel the vibration of anger seething through my body as my mind kept chewing on his words. The weight of his meanness consumed my thoughts, making me fatigued and depressed.

Weighed down by what seemed like anvils on my shoulders, I decided to go for a long walk on a deserted path near my house to be comforted by nature. After walking for a while, I remembered to use my practice for releasing toxic emotions: I allowed my anger to build and spill out by recalling the details of that malicious letter, then I concentrated strongly on the intense feelings of rage his letter aroused. Next, I took the crucial step: dropping the story.

Here's the thing: without the story, you cannot hold on to the negative emotion. Over and over I practiced re-living the situation and feeling the emotions of palpable fury as vigorously as I could, while keeping my mind from engaging with what had happened. Each time the story tried to weasel its way in, I'd drop it again. And again.

I continued this process until I could actually feel myself lightening up with the release of that negative charge. After a few minutes, that feeling of release grew more powerful than the anger emotion. Next, I said prayers of gratitude and repeated a positive affirmation - I choose to feel good - the rest of the way home. Little by little, as I walked, I could detect the subtle sensation of loving energy activating my body - and a whisper of inner peace and happiness.

The most difficult part of this process? Dropping the story. Sometimes we get addicted to our story and we want to play it over and over. Breaking that pattern takes work. But it's so worth the effort for our health and well-being. When we disengage from thoughts about the past or the future, we are present. And when we're present, we can tap into the stream of well-being that is our nature.

Ellen Wood of Questa is an award-winning author of the series of books, "The Secret Method for Growing Younger." Her website is howtogrowyounger.com. Contact her at ellen@howtogrowyounger.com.

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