Grampo se pone en un diet to lose weight

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Una mañana grampo staggered pa'la cocina with his pants todos desabrochãos. He tried to hold up sus calzones by the fly con las dos manos so they wouldn't fall down en el suelo. Pero much as he tugged at la bragueta, he just couldn't make un lão de su calzones reach the opposite side. He sighed and he exclaimed: "¡Ay Dios mío, I think que voy a tener que perder peso!"

Grama Cuca looked at him and smiled. "Te dije," she began, "que todos esos sweets que comites during the holidays, te iban a dar una pansota." She poked his bulging belly con un dedo.

Grampo Caralampio kind of wished que he hadn't eaten tantos dulces pa'l Año Nuevo y pa' Crismes.

"You look como el Pillsbury Doughboy, grampo," Canutito teased him. Y luego he asked him: "Grampo, why do you eat tanto, todos los días?"

"I'd like to tell you que como tanto because I grew up poor y no había mucha comida to eat. We used to eat cuánta cosa que había on our plates and we even licked them clean. Pero it is probably more porque, as we say in Spanish: 'Nosotros los Mexicanos mejor arreventamos que, qué vaya a sobrar algo en el plato'."

"We Mexicans would rather bust a gut than to leave anything on the plate," Canutito translated, riéndose. Then he said: "Grampo, why don't you lie down en el suelo instead of trying to suck in la pansa and then maybe va a poder buckle up sus calzones and zip them up like that?"

"The other thing you could try," Grama Cuca said, "es ponerte en una dieta."

Esa noche grama made unos hamburgers para la cena. Grampo piled su hamburger patty con pickles, tomates, queso, mostaza y ketchup and he filled su plato con un batacal de french fries y spaghetti with a couple of huevos on the side. Pero he left out the onion and the lettuce leaf para no ganar peso. Instead, he dug into su hamburguesa and chased it down con una root beer float y para dessert he had medio pastel de calabaza con mucho whipped cream.

En la mañana instead of eating otemíl, comió Frosted Flakes con bananas y cinco pedazos de toast con jelly y low-fat butter. Al medio día he went to weigh himself and he was shocked de saber que había ganado four pounds.

"I just don't understand it," he said to himself. "Aquí estoy muriéndome de hambre; starving myself and I still gain cuatro libras. Falta que una chocolate and coconut milk shake pueda ayudarme a perder a little weight." He went to the fridge por el ice cream y mientras que estaba allí, he munched en una enchilada casserole que Grama Cuca was saving para la cena.

Esa tarde, when Canutito came back de la escuela, he found grampo sitting en la silla mesedora, rocking away with his pants fastened. "Wow, grampo," exclamó, "I see that you have really lost un poco de peso!"

"Oh, it's not so hard, m'hijo," grampo said, snapping el elástico de sus stretch pants. "Todo lo que requiere es un poco de will power."

Canutito didn't see la caja de dulces that grampo had under the chair…

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